* * *
Have you ever lost yourself & never even realized it?
Have you ever fallen so far that one day you find
that, somehow, you've misplaced all of your old dreams?
* * *
These days, my one thought, the one beat of my heart, is trying to remember all of those little important things that make me...well, me. I'm trying to pick up all of the tiny, shattered pieces of my life; trying to remember those things I've always dreamt about; trying to remember just why I once thought they were so beautiful.
Over the last painful months, I've come to realize that it is the easiest thing to lose sight of who you really are, who you wish to be, in the midst of all encompassing grief. Before you know it, it seems the most impossible of things to find your way back to what you once considered...your everything.
It's easiest to just let yourself get lost in your grief, to give up on everything you've always hoped for, give up on those things it seems you were meant to be, meant to say, meant to stand witness to. But lately, more & more, I've felt pressed upon my heart the thought that, living your life like that, allowing yourself to give up on those things most important to you, would be such a...waste.
It would be throwing away what I've always stood for, always believed in. It would be forgetting what my Daddy would have hoped for me & what I have hoped for my own life.
So...no matter how hard it may be, no matter how narrow this road may seem to become, I'm going to try to remember those old, familiar dreams.
I'm a strong person. With the love of those nearest to me, the faith that still lives in my heart, & with the dream of a better tomorrow...I'm going to make it through.
I know I can.
* * *
