Wednesday, April 14, 2010


* * * *

"I've often been accused by critics of being myself
on-screen. But being oneself is more
difficult than you'd suppose."

Cary Grant

"Thank You" Isn't Enough...

* * * * *

I can't thank you all enough for the sweet words,
prayers, and support you sent me in response to my last post.

You all have touched my life & my heart.
I appreciate you more than you will ever know.

* * * * *

Thursday, April 8, 2010

If Only...

It is easiest to try to forget.

For if I think of the way he said "I love you," the way his eyes crinkled up in the corners when he smiled, or the fact that he'll never come home again...

I'm lost.

It is easiest to try & pretend that nothing has happened; to try & make myself believe that everything that is new & different around me...really isn't new at all.

When all I really want,
more than anything else,
is to go back to what we once had... to go Home.

No one knows what to say to me. I think they're afraid to hurt me in some way, but more often than not, it is that distance, that suffocating invisible thread, that hurts me more than any stumbling words ever could.

I wish that someone would wrap their arms around me & hold me. They wouldn't need to say anything at all, because I would understand...

wish that people would realize, that though the months go by, my heartache does not ebb. It's not something that will just go away. Each day I wake up wishing that this terrible nightmare my life has become would end up being just that...a bad dream. But it's much, much too real.

If only love, and death, and life
didn't hurt so very much.

Daddy, I ♥ you...

Friday, April 2, 2010


Jean Peters in
Captain from Castile (1947).

* * * * * *

"I often think our glamorization of Hollywood
stars--the perpetual photographing us in ermine
& bouffant tulle, in French bathing suits or
sleek satin--throws the public off.

They don't recognize us as human beings
subject to the same discomforts of climate &
working conditions as they are.

They expect to see that goddess
leading a couple of wolfhounds
come striding onto the set."

Jean Peters