Uncertainty...

One day melds into the next, separated only by the changing of faces nearby that I soon forget; the different meals that I barely remember eating; the number of times I become sick with the realization that my Daddy won't ever walk through our front door again. Each day I must ask the person nearest me a hundred times..."What day is today?"

But it really doesn't matter. I really don't care.

Someday I may be able to speak of the man we called "Daddy" and the deep love we held for him. Someday I may be able to share a little more about these times and the life we are now required to lead. I'm really not sure when that might be. In the meantime, know that the knowledge of having your thoughts and prayers has blessed me so much.

I have decided to schedule a number of posts I had previously written to "self-publish" from time to time in an effort to continue my blog, in some sort of way or another, for now. With our future so uncertain, my plans for songs I sing remain shaky at best.

Emily

Shattered...

I don't know what to say...

It has taken me more than a week to work up enough courage to sit down at the computer and write this post. I've panicked every time I've contemplated it. My chest tightens and I can hardly bear to breathe, let alone type out the words that explain a fact that I wish--more than anything I've ever wished--wasn't true. Writing them here only seems to make a horrible, horrible thing more real to me.

My dearest Daddy was killed in a tragic accident last week. Even now, I can hardly believe that it is true. I find myself still waiting to hear his footstep at the door; still expecting to see his face or hear the low hum of his voice at any moment.

My heart is broken...I know that my life will never again be the same.

I hope that someday I may be able to speak of him--to remember him--without this sharp, stabbing pain searing through every inch of me. For now, it is much, much too hard. My only hope is to get away, and for a little while...try to forget.

I don't know how we will live without him. I don't think that I can, and I know that I don't want to. My family, my world is shattered. He was our hero, our comforter, our everything...

Grace...

" I don't want to dress up a picture with just my face."

Grace Kelly

Stretching My Legs...

I've been finished with school for exactly two days and I'm already enjoying this "new" sense of freedom to the utmost. I've been so very, very tired these past few weeks of just sitting. Sitting for classes, sitting to study, sitting to write those oh-so-important last papers. I haven't been able to help feeling as if I've been sitting my entire spring away. If I could have only figured out how to memorize the various geopolitical tensions of East Asia while clipping along at a brisk jog...I would have been happy. ☺ You can't imagine my delight at realizing that I finally have the time to walk, walk, walk to my heart's content.

Our dusty dirt road is a long slim ribbon stretching before me as I walk across this beautiful patch of God's blooming green earth. And each night, as I stumble hot and tired up our long stone drive, I am so thankful to be young and alive with two good feet...no matter how much they hurt at that moment.

I'm trying to keep up my four mile a day streak. I'm on the third day so far...a jump up from the two miles I had been walking. And for a girl that's been sitting all spring...I don't think that's half bad.

Hollywood Mommy...

In honor of Mother's Day & my own wonderful Mommy, I thought that I would share a few of my favorite photographs of Hollywood starlets with their real-life children. Instead of showcasing strictly glamorous poses, these photographs allow us a "behind-the-scenes" peek into the quiet moments & everyday lives these famous stars might have experienced.

Enjoy!

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Debbie Reynolds with son Todd Fisher & daughter Carrie Fisher

Audrey Hepburn with son Sean Ferrer

Barbara Stanwyck with son Dion Fay

Shirley Temple with daughter Linda Susan Agar

Shirley MacLaine with daughter Sachi Parker

Lucille Ball with children Desi Jr. & Lucie Arnaz

Elizabeth Taylor with children Michael Wilding Jr,

Christopher Wilding, & Liza Todd

Gene Tierney with daughter Daria Cassini

Lauren Bacall with son Stephen Bogart

A Wednesday Evening...

I'm ever so sorry for neglecting you, dear friends!

Life has been a whirlwind these past few weeks--or rather months--what with a crazy, hectic school schedule, the funeral of a dear, dear friend, & a million other small, time-consuming things besides. It's been oh-so-difficult trying to stay on top of everything while still managing to squeeze in those important moments for family, but I've managed to--just by the skin of my teeth!

Now that the semester is winding to a close, my days are slowly beginning to be filled with a freedom & peace that I can't help but relish. I've felt so terribly guilty these past few weeks for all of the letters and emails I have neglected to send to certain special people in my life, but I have truthfully been so very, very busy every moment with school. I've hardly been able to keep my eyes open at dinner & each night that Sarah convinces me to watch a movie with her, I...fall asleep on the couch. So, please do know that you have been in my thoughts & expect a letter shortly in the mail!!

I really must head to bed for now...

Love,
Emily

Easter...

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Wishing you a blessed Easter...

Much love,

Emily